Upon reflexion looking down to look up and look forward

We are just a few weeks away from New Year’s Eve and are often eager to take a step back to start thinking about our good resolutions for the year to come.

Have you already noticed that our good resolutions are often built in opposition to a personal assessment made of what went wrong, failed or was not good enough this past year? We are embedded in a critical culture and opt very quickly for looking at “what is not working” rather than our resources and our successes. Hoping for a « better » which often remains to be defined, we are easily aware of our “axis of improvement”.

So, an annual review or not? Yes, if this exercise becomes for you an asset and gives you a positive momentum to start the coming year, using some options that I often share with the clients I coach.

1. Be proud of your achievements

This is the time to list everything that you have made or deployed this year. Scan your agenda and outline the positive key points. You do not manage to find any? Maybe it’s because you have forgotten that, in itself, working hard or doing your outmost to reach very ambitious or unrealistic objectives is, in reality, a success. You estimate that you have done everything you could? Be proud of yourself.

2. Spot your moments of pleasure

We very naturally remember the unpleasant moments, unsolved micro-conflicts at work, lack of recognition, stressful periods. We often must make greater efforts to remember pleasing times, a nice lunch, the whole-hearted support of a colleague, a re-boosting phone call, a cozy evening… Invest your energy in rooting these joyful moments, made of laughs or rest. They will be your resources for the year to come, and it will help you fostering them. If this exercise is for your impossible, which may happen, it may mean that you are going through difficult life times, and that it’s time for you for ask for help.

3. Accept what is, and differentiate it from what you want.

In view of « doing better, having more, or being better”, take a few seconds and ask yourself what really depended on you, and what depended on numerous other factors. Some of these have put the brakes on your project executions, and there was nothing that you could to do about it. Does that mean adopting a defeatist attitude? Non, it’s being an adult, to mobilize your intelligence, your emotional resources and your talents towards the proper target. Indeed, on your way, you had to accept frustration, sadness, the feeling of injustice or being angry. As time passes, they will go away.

In conclusion, I wish you a joyful, resourcing and original annual review, illustrating who you are, and a happy festive season. And by the way, if you intend to set some good resolutions…read our article of January 2018!